Navigating the workplace with a chronic illness or specific dietary needs can be challenging enough without the added burden of unsolicited advice from well-meaning colleagues. For many living with autoimmune or gastrointestinal diagnoses, the lunchroom can feel more like a minefield than a place to refuel. Comments like “Why can’t you eat normal food?” or “You can have a little, can’t you?” may seem harmless, but for those managing complex health conditions, these remarks can be both frustrating and harmful.
The Unseen Impact of Unsolicited Advice
Unsolicited advice in the workplace is common and often stems from a place of concern or a desire to help. However, research shows that such advice is typically discounted or ignored, especially when it feels self-serving or dismissive of the recipient’s experience. In the context of health, these comments can undermine a person’s confidence in their treatment plan and contribute to feelings of isolation or self-doubt.
For individuals with invisible illnesses like autoimmune disorders or gastrointestinal diseases, the situation is even more complex. Symptoms such as fatigue, pain, or dietary restrictions are not always visible, making it easy for others to underestimate the seriousness of the condition or the necessity of certain lifestyle changes. When co-workers question or challenge these adaptations, it can feel invalidating and exhausting.
Why Do Co-Workers Offer Unsolicited Advice?
Several factors drive this behavior:
- Desire to Help: Some genuinely want to help, fearing that your health may deteriorate if you don’t follow their suggestions.
- Discomfort with Illness: Witnessing someone else’s health struggles can be uncomfortable, prompting others to offer advice as a way to manage their own emotions.
- Illusion of Control: Healthy individuals may believe that illness is preventable or easily managed, leading them to think you’re “not trying hard enough” if you don’t follow mainstream advice.
- Lack of Understanding: Many people simply don’t understand the complexities of autoimmune or gastrointestinal conditions and the impact of certain foods or behaviors.
The Harm of “Just a Little Won’t Hurt”
The phrase “You can have a little, can’t you?” is particularly problematic. For someone with celiac disease, a single crumb of gluten can trigger a severe reaction. For others with autoimmune or GI conditions, even small deviations from their prescribed diet can lead to painful flare-ups or setbacks. Suggesting that someone “just try a little” is akin to telling an alcoholic to have just one drink—a comparison that highlights the lack of understanding behind such comments.
Setting Boundaries and Advocating for Yourself
Managing unsolicited advice requires a combination of self-advocacy, clear communication, and boundary-setting:
- Communicate Your Needs: Politely but firmly explain that your dietary choices are based on medical advice and are essential for your well-being.
- Educate When Appropriate: If you feel comfortable, share information about your condition to help others understand why certain foods or behaviors are off-limits.
- Set Clear Boundaries: Let colleagues know that while you appreciate their concern, you trust your healthcare team and would prefer not to discuss your health choices further.
- Seek Support: Connect with others who understand your experience, whether through workplace support groups, friends, or online communities.
The Role of Employers and Workplace Culture
Employers play a critical role in supporting employees with chronic illnesses. This includes providing flexible accommodations, fostering an inclusive culture, and ensuring that employees feel safe to share their needs without fear of judgment or unsolicited input. Open-door policies and targeted health benefits can make a significant difference in employee well-being and productivity.
Conclusion
While most co-workers mean well, unsolicited advice about health—especially regarding chronic or invisible illnesses—can do more harm than good. Respecting boundaries, listening without judgment, and supporting colleagues in their health journeys are essential steps toward creating a healthier, more inclusive workplace. Remember: what’s “normal” for one person can be harmful to another, and true support means honoring those differences.
